A R S O N
by x-ephmrl-x
Summary: "Tadashi Hamada was our best friend." But he was more than that to GoGo and they knew. It wasn't fair. He was the one good thing in her life and he was ripped from her just like that. But Tadashi never died. He survived the fire. They all thought his body had incinerated in the explosion, giving them nothing to bury. They were wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**This was originally gonna be a two-shot in my oneshot book, but I decided to make it into a full story. Hope you guys like it!**

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It'd been three weeks since Tadashi's death. Honey cried most of the time. Fred moped around, barely saying a word since the burial. Wasabi cleaned obsessively as if it'd bring Tadashi back if it were done enough. And GoGo . . . for a long time, she told herself to remain strong for her friends. God, she'd wanted to cry so many times, but she refused to. Her friends would always tell her it was okay to do so and that she was free to grieve. But she wouldn't listen. Instead, she'd constantly scold and tell them that Tadashi would want them to be happy and move on with their lives whenever they were down. Her voice was full of confidence and conviction, but all she got were sad looks in return. After a while, she wasn't sure if it was _them_ she was trying to convince, or herself.

Soon enough, she stopped comforting everyone and tried forgetting everything instead. She tried forgetting the fact that a small part of her expected him to still walk into the lab in the mornings, that he wouldn't be there to hold her anymore, he'd never tease her again, never say her name.

In fact, she was hurting _so_ much, she did anything to try and forget _him_. Just for a second. She went to parties she never imagined going to and got high on whatever she could. She kissed and got numbers from guys whose names and faces she wouldn't remember the next day. Honey, with a heavy heart, threatened to kick her out when she brought home some drunk dude who started yelling song lyrics to a heavy metal cover of some pop song.

"Where did you go?" Honey asked sternly, her arms crossed over her chest as she tried hard to keep her inner Latina in.

Leiko fell on the couch and gripped her dark hair. "Stop _screaming._ You're giving me a headache." She grabbed the beer the singing man left and took a swig from it.

"Maybe if you'd stopped drinking, everything wouldn't be so loud." The blonde sat next to her. GoGo rolled her eyes. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I'm not doing anything." She took another gulp.

"Seriously, Leiko. Stop it."

GoGo glared at her for a few seconds. Then she sighed and set the bottle back down on the coffee table. "Whatever." She took her phone out of her pocket and started tapping the screen furiously.

"What're you doing?"

"Deleting and blocking numbers," she muttered. She then put a piece of gum in her mouth and began popping bubbles every ten seconds.

"How many—"

"Fourteen pervs. New record," she replied before Honey could finish her question.

"Why do you get their numbers if you're gonna delete them?"

Leiko smirked a bit. "One: it's fun leading them on. Two: it's not like they're gonna remember me in the morning and vice versa."

Honey sighed. "Why are you doing this to yourself, GoGo?" She asked again.

"Mm, what is it I'm doing exactly?" She looked up from her phone.

"Ah, this." She waved her hand in a circle.

"You just gestured to all of me."

"Exactly! You've been getting high, having one night stands with guys that aren't good for you, you get drunk almost every night and ride your motorcycle anyway. God, are you _trying_ to kill yourself?!" GoGo clenched her fist and looked away. Honey's eyes widened. "Oh, come _on_ , Leiko. You _know_ Tadashi would want—"

"Tadashi's dead, Aiko!" GoGo growled, standing abruptly. "It doesn't _matter_ what he would've wanted, or said, or done. He's _dead_ and there's _nothing_ we can do about it." When she spoke the last sentence, she sounded angry. But she also sounded like the realisation was hitting her for the first time.

Honey sighed and shook her head. "Look, GoGo— _where_ are you going?"

"Out," the Korean girl replied as she walked to the door, stumbling a bit.

"What? No! You're still drunk!" Aiko stood and went after her.

"This little converation sobered me up, so don't worry." Then she smiled while turning to face Honey. "I promise I'm not going out for a ride. Just need fresh air to clear my mind." With that, she was already out of the door, leaving a slightly baffled Honey Lemon standing in the middle of the entrance.

Of course, Leiko lied. She got her motorcycle—not forgetting the helmet—and went out for a ride, not caring how reckless it was. She prayed the speed would put her now raging mind at ease and that it would some how get rid of the smothering depression hanging over her head. Instead, the things she tried to forget started coming back to her. She urged her bike to go faster, faster, faster. But with each second that passed, more thoughts and memories she'd pushed to the back of her head returned. No, she couldn't let this happen. She needed them to go away. She kept tugging the right handle back to gain more speed, making her bike go faster than it had ever gone before. GoGo could hear him now, his laugh, the way he said the words "I love you". She remembered that he wasn't going to be there for her anymore even after he promised he would.

 _"I'll always be here for you, Leiko."_

Faster, faster _, faster, . . . faster._

She hit a crack in the road and she was sent flying, landing a few feet away from her motorcycle. Leiko didn't realise what had happened for a moment since it happened in less than a second. She was lying flat on her back, her body was aching all over, and she wasn't sure if she'd broken something. At some point, she stopped caring about the intense ache and threw her helmet on the ground while she cursed loudly, her head leaning against the cold concrete.

That's when she broke down. Not from the physical pain, but from the emotional one. She now knew she couldn't have him back. Nothing would _ever_ bring him back. And so she cried and cried. Until her breath hitched and there was a sudden pain in her chest. She realised that she had in fact broken a few things and now a raging fire was spreading throughout her body.

There was a shriek and suddenly, she couldn't breath anymore. Her vision began to blur and darken. There was a lot of comotion around her, but the noises were muffled. A shadow cast over her and asked for her name multiple times while trying to keep her awake.

"Leiko . . . Leiko Tanaka," she had somehow miraculously replied. Her eyes tiredly examined the crowd around her though she could hardly see anyone. The last thing she saw clearly was Tadashi Hamada standing among the strangers before everything disappeared completely.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thirty-four days. She'd been in a coma for thirty-four days. He'd counted. She'd broken more bones than he'd thought. He visited her everyday. The image of her mangled and unconscious body was forever burned in his mind. When the accident happened, it was the first time he'd seen her in weeks._

 _He'd taken a look at her files when he entered the hospital for the first time. All he got from them was that she was intoxicated and must've been going at least eighty miles per hour when she crashed. As cliché as it sounded, it was a miracle she survived or even remained conscious for the amount of time she did. He felt guilty. He was angry with himself and her. He knew she was a strong person and he hated knowing she did what she did because of him, but he could hardly believe she let herself down the wrong path._

 _Maybe if he stayed . . . maybe if he'd come back sooner things would be different. Her life wouldn't be hanging by a thread. But he had his reasons for staying away. Reasons that would have put everyone he cared for in danger if he didn't run away. He'd needed to learn to control it. Whatever "it" was. Now he was getting the hang of it . . . for the most part._

" _This 'Burning-Man' crap is getting out of hand," the waiter said as she took his empty cup of coffee, pointing at the newspaper he was reading. The man flipped back to the front page he hadn't bothered to read._ **BURNING-MAN Spotted Again in Oakland City** _was the printed title. Right below was a blurry image of a man completely covered in flames in front of what looked like an alley. He mentally kicked himself. He should've been more careful. He shouldn't have retired to Oakland in the first place, but he'd forgotten something important. "I mean, that's_ clearly _photoshopped."_

 _He folded the newspaper and chuckled a bit, adjusting his sunglasses. He knew it was weird to wear sunglasses indoors at night, but this was San Fransokyo and everything was weird in the city. "Agreed." The middle aged woman handed him the check as he stood up and payed. He signed with_ Shirō Yoshida _and gave her a smile. "Have a goodnight." With that, he walked out of the café and pulled up his hoodie._

°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°

 _(Seven Months Later)_

"Hiro Hamada, you are _not_ putting golden lightning bolts all over my suit," GoGo hissed.

"Correction, _my_ suit, I made it. And why not? Honey let me put chemical equations on her helmet!" The teen motioned to the blonde, who was texting someone on her phone while grinning. The gang had just gotten back from finally defeating one of their most dangerous enemies: Dark Star. All of them got out alive, but with major bruises and a few stitches. GoGo and Wasabi needed their armor to be repaired due to how intense the fight had been.

"Because this isn't cosplay, I like the way it is, and I don't want _my_ suit to look tacky."

"I'll settle for _our_ suit." Hiro leaned back in his spinning chair. "But it'd look totally cool!"

"Kid's right, dude," Fred said from the entrance of the garage while he munched on a party size bag of chips. "It'd be sick!"

GoGo glared at him. "I told you _not_ to call me 'dude'."

"Alright, dudette. Geez, chill."

"I agree with GoGo," Wasabi said. "We're supposed to be saving the city, not making unnecessary upgrades to our suits."

Leiko pointed at Wasabi. "Thank you! _See_? He gets it."

"But the lightning bolts would actually be pretty cool."

"Ugh!"

Hiro gave her the puppy dog eyes. "Pleeease?"

GoGo crossed her arms and stared him down. "No."

Little Hamada wasn't going to give up. "Please, GoGoooo."

"Nope."

He gave her a pout and put his hands together and leaned forward. "Pwetty pwease?" He said in a baby-like voice.

" _No._ That's _final._ Just fix _my suit._ "

Hiro groaned and sat back. "Fine, Miss Bossy."

"How is she able to resist that _face?!"_ Fred whispered to Honey and Wasabi.

"Tadashi did it to her _all_ the time. She's practically immune to the puppy face," Honey Lemon explained, smiling. Even though Tadashi was still a bit of a touchy subject, they were able to talk more freely about him without anyone breaking down and what not.

"Makes sense. Anyone want some?" Fred offered them the chips. Wasabi shook his head and Aiko happily took a hand full.

GoGo took her phone out and checked the time. It was 5:30. "Welp, I better head back home. I'll see you guys tomorrow." (She'd gotten her own place two months back).

"You don't want a ride?" Honey asked.

Leiko grabbed her leather jacket from one of the work tables. "Nah. It's nice out, perfect for walking. I'll see you guys tomorrow." She turned to Hiro. "And _you_ better make sure to remember to finish that physics project, mister. I can't be behind your ass all the time."

Hiro put his hands up in the air. "Alright! Gosh. But can I text you if I need help?"

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Fine. But I'm going to be studying for a test, so don't expect an instant reply." She ruffled his hair. "See you later, kid. Bye, guys."

"Bye, GoGo!" The other three said before she walked out.

°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°

GoGo relaxed once her body settled to the coldness of the ice in the water. Her bathroom light was off, but she had lighted a few candles. The pain that had consumed her body was beginning to subside a little. She leaned her head back on the tub and closed her eyes, letting out a heavy breath. She seriously hoped no more villains would show up for another two weeks. On top of all this superhero stuff and getting beat up, she had her finals coming up and she needed to _ace_ them. Making time to study was hard enough as it was seeing as she also had an actual _paying_ job on the side.

When she opened her eyes, everything was hazy. And there was a figure across from her in a corner. She couldn't breathe for a moment. It then began moving closer to her. She couldn't move; her eyes were stuck on the shadow. The dim lighting of the candles soon exposed the man.

 _Tadashi?_ She wanted to speak, but her words died in her throat when she got a better look at him. His body was all scarred and his blisters were oozing blood. One of his eyes was shut closed and swollen while the other glared hard at her.

" _Leiko,"_ he said hoarsely, kneeling down and looking her dead in the eyes.

GoGo finally found her voice. "You're not real." He didn't say anything. "Go _away._ "

" _Look at what you did to me_."

"Wha—"

" _You could've saved me. You could've gone after me_."

Her heart was pounding hard in her chest. She can't move. _Why can't she move?_ "I-I _did_. I tried. Tadashi—"

" _You hesitated. You weren't_ fast enough, _GoGo_." He stood. "You could've saved me."

Next thing she knew, she was being held down underneath the freezing water. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. But she screamed.

When GoGo woke up she wasn't sure if she'd even closed her eyes. She really needed to stop falling asleep in the tub.

She looked around. She was still in her bathroom, and she was alone.

* * *

 **Eh…? It was short I know. Next chapter will (hopefully) be better.**


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